Steadfast

Let me hear in the morning of your steadfast love,

    for in you I trust.

Make me know the way I should go,

    for to you I lift up my soul.

Psalm 143:8, New English version of the Bible

The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
    his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
    great is your faithfulness.

Lamentations 3:22-23, English Standard Version of the Bible

“Being faithful in the smallest things is the way to gain, maintain, and demonstrate the strength needed to accomplish something great.”

― Alex Harris

“To be strong does not mean to sprout muscles and flex. It means meeting one’s own numinosity without fleeing, actively living with the wild nature in one’s own way. It means to be able to learn, to be able to stand what we know. It means to stand and live.”

― Clarissa Pinkola Estés, Women Who Run With the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11 NIV)”

―  Holy Bible: New International Version

The sunrises and sunsets of the past two weeks have been carefully planned and manoeuvred by the universe to speak to my soul. Sunsets are melancholic, and with them they bring the beautiful cool night sounds of nature outside of my window. As I lie awake listening to crickets and night owls I wait for the sad and melancholic thoughts to bring tears to my eyes….. but the joy in my soul is strongly growing and strengthening my heart. The tears are few, and I realise why: everything has been planned. As soon as I had let go and let destiny happen, it all fell into place: my heart is silently protected.

Walking through the white corridors of the sterile environment of the hospital towards the room where my earthly father lies patiently waiting for me, my heart is heavy with empathy and love for this great, strong, beautiful and steadfast man who has brought and taught me so much more in life than I ever thought possible. I have to pause and lift my head a bit higher – smile behind the mask and then walk on, into the room where I now have to offer strength and encouragement to him. It is my turn.

As I take off my mask to embrace my dad I lift up my soul to my heavenly father, for it is He who knows the way I should go.

The clouds have been faithful the past week: strong, bright, heavy and omnipresent. Summer’s overwhelming skies kept my mind from the realities of life, but still, the messages of mortality were clear in the overbearingly bright orange sunrises and of course; the sunsets…….

The fact is that the beginning (and end) of every day is never the same, but still remains spectacular. We only need to look! The sunrises and sunsets are always there, though, in the same unwavering rise and descent of the days of mine and yours and ours and their lives. The colours and nuances of the universe’s promises at dawn and dusk do not disappoint, and neither does God. Promises of hope and a future are painted in the sky. These spectacular sunrises inspire my heart to pump with blood and I am (at last) embracing life and love. God knew long before I did where I needed to be presently, and yes: I am present in the moment – all my moments!

As I look into my dad’s eyes we share a silly joke and a hug – the awe-inspiring gift of love and strength. Of hope and thankfulness: joy in each other’s company. Now, in this moment. And forever more!

The sunrises speak of life and the ebb and flow of it all. My life, the liminality of it all. And I suddenly realise that the liminal space is my life. The people drawn into my life. Your life. His life. Our lives – and how it all interacts and intertwines, planned all in advance by something far greater we could ever imagine.

Embrace the moments!