Vantage

“a place or position affording a good view of something.”

stance, stand, view, opinion, position, way of thinking, frame of mind, outlook, perspective, angle, slant.

https://www.lexico.com/definition/vantage

“The world is a tragedy to those who feel, but a comedy to those who think.”

― Horace Walpole

“Sometimes we want to believe something so badly that we allow ourselves to be taken (ad)vantage of.”

― Aaron B. Powell, Doomsday Diaries III: Luke the Protector

“The only person we have the right or the power to forgive is ourselves. For everything else, there is the Art of Acceptance.”

― Rebecca O’Dwyer

This year, I decided, would be a good one.

Naturally, it started off with my messages in the clouds. The first cloud of the year took my breath away. It was a bright new morning when I looked upwards to escape the reality of his irritability. The dark blue, almost black stately vehicle pulled slowly out of the garage. As I looked up I saw the silent fireworks up in the sky. The lines of ecstasy captured in this image is a reminder and manifestation of our memorable fireworks under the clear midnight sky of the previous night.

But, unfortunately, my clouds had a clear message – decisions are just what they are – decisions. Life has its own plans…….

The messages were very clear: and were all painfully visible in my blue sky.

All in ONE day: New Year’s day.

1 January 2021.

According to the Oxford dictionary a decision is a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration. I realise that I have not considered anything lately, really…… I have not had any real cognitive considerations of the grey matter the past few months. Only a frantic, emotional roller coaster ride of feelings.

The realisation of my emotional, liminal journey and the insignificance of my life in the large expanse of this seemingly picture-perfect world dawned on me later that morning as I boarded the seventh flight I bravely took singularly in just a few weeks.

This flight was back home. Alone.

As I looked down at the clouds and the world below this experience we call life and humanity hit me like a huge, heavy rock in the pit of my stomach. I am alone; searching. We are all searching for something that we cannot define. Above the clouds I discovered a different perspective: from my vantage point high above the ground I saw a new horizon consisting of clouds. And above them: a new sky! I sadly realised that I would never see him again. I know now those wheels do not travel far: they pull out of those garages, but never come to rest in one. I learnt a life lesson about the tightrope of the heart and the mind. The beautiful photograph I took will forever remind me of keeping perspective.

The third image I took later on that day, looking up into the clear blue sky at sunset of the first day of the new year. Beauty tinged with a feint pink colour. Promises in the sky. Promises of a future that I do not have much power over.

“We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.”
‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭16:9‬ ‭NLT‬‬
https://www.bible.com/116/pro.16.9.nlt

Little did I know just how small and insignificant my steps are on the tightrope of life; and how fragile our lives are……