Conceal

“Stand up for your conscience. Use light to reveal what is concealed in the darkness. Use truth to fight the lies, and the heart to fight the mind.”

― Suzy Kassem, Rise Up and Salute the Sun: The Writings of Suzy Kassem

“Everyone has scars. Cowards conceal them. The brave reveal them.”

― A.D. Posey

“The definition of tragedy is when people do not communicate yet struggle to conceal the pain.”

― Ken Poirot

To conceal anything from those to whom I am attached, is not in my nature. I can never close my lips where I have opened my heart.

Charles Dickens

Overcast days conceal the true sky, like we conceal our inner selves to the world. On these sunless days the clouds are usually thick and dark, and for those of us who are used to open our hearts to the sky this is hard. The thick clouds are overbearingly beautiful, but also hides the sun from us.

I opened my heart, and felt free for the first time in a very long time.

As I sit quietly waiting for the sun to appear I realise that there is a very cold, overcast world outside of my window. The small deer cautiously enters the garden in search of its morning snack. There is nothing, and I make a silent wish for it to please come back for it once I have some.

As I watch it search for something, I realise the sun’s rays will not break through the clouds today.

My sky is completely filled with the spectacular grey of thick clouds: so why am I not looking forward to this beautiful new day?

I need to share my vulnerable heart with somebody who wants it. It has bled, healed and was then broken wide open again. I do not know how to deal with the red, bloody feeling of being all alone in this world anymore. I need to share the love that is bleeding away from my open, wounded heart, for it is wasted as it falls onto the barren earth beneath my feet.

I am not alone, but completely lonely, trying to catch the blood dripping from my exposed heart. I need somebody to stitch it up and stop the bleeding. I wish for someone who is not afraid to put his hand on my heart and feel the blood pumping through my veins. I do not know for how long I will be able to catch the blood dripping from my heart anymore, for it is wasted as it is slipping through my fingers to fall and dry on the ground.

As I raise the camera to take a picture of the overcast sky, I discreetly hide my bleeding heart from the people I love. The thick clouds are exceptionally beautiful today – but are now beginning to stifle me.

I secretly make a wish for tomorrow’s bright sunrise to acknowledge my liminal journey, and stop my bleeding heart by sending me the answer.